Bathroom Monologue: Immigration

Don’t we have some responsibility to the heathens?

It is not our fault that we succeed. It is our boon and glory, and I would not detract from it, nor admit any heathens within our walls who would do those traits disservice. We made this harsh landscape work when all they could do was beg. Their peoples had the same destroyed lands as we. These arguments I will not profane.

Yet no man or woman standing in this hall built it. We enrich and till fields that were constructed by forebears, and forebears familiar with the values of life. Today our walls stand against the mean beasts, and preserve agriculture and culture in general. We benefit for the protection. Is it not in our moral interest to admit and naturalize heathens into the proper ways of living?

Today we’ve heard argued too often that we do enough by admitting anyone worthy and there are simply none worthy in the camps. Yet the camps themselves are a moral peril. Thousands without enough food, without knowledge of medicine, who built their own tents and cluster among so many desperate strangers – is there any wonder that there is violence? There are men who arrived at those camps children and still wait for expiation. Moral decay is all but inevitable in such circumstances.

I dare any man or woman standing in this hall to dispatch his or her child to those camps and reclaim them in a year.

Do you fear the child will not be alive at the end of the year? Then what fortune is a heathen, who has come from nothing but cultural failure, to anticipate? Who can be without sin in half a shelter, itself shared by likely death?

These people arrived of their free will. They elect to remain in the camps and await our assessments, yet the camps only exist because of our walls and laws. Do we not have investment in the business of their suffering? I feel my share of it in my pocket.

For remedies, I have few. We could abolish the camps and drive off the heathens, and thereby damn all, even the innocent minority, to life without illumination or certainty. We could have free immigration and rob the camps of their necessity, and accept the consequences of mingling with so many heathens. Of these two reforms, I anticipate little support. But know that every man and woman standing in the camps tonight who fails our assessments does so because we make them wait there.

They already number a dozen to any of our one. To sit by with legs crossed until the walls and laws are likewise outnumbered will damn our entire enterprise. If you will not expel or admit them, then you must behave with ethical fervor.

Is there any among you with the fortitude to migrate into the camps and share some of our secrets so that they no longer need us? And perhaps thereby learn anything they have determined and which we have missed in our safe piety? To give gifts unto people of no less blood than yourselves, for chance to return with sundry others, and regardless, return with security for the commonwealth of our enterprise?

I am only one such person, and alone will be consumed as a drop of dye into a lake. However, a mass of dye great enough will not disperse so swiftly. You’ll have until the morning to let me know.