Friday, June 19, 2009

Bathroom Monologue: Brutally Honest

“Et tu, Brute?” Julius asked, turning to his old friend.

“Not well, really,” Brutus said, shrugging his shoulders. He hated doing this. “I’ve got a lot of issues with you.”

“Que?” asked the leader of the empire.

“Your refusal to abdicate consolidated power makes a mockery of our republic, many of your domestic decisions show incompetence, and your war lust both taxes the treasury and threatens to dissolve our empire.” He pulled his right hand from behind his back and showed Julius the knife. “Frankly, I’d come here to stab you. That’s how bad it’s got. And your hygiene…”

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