Bathroom Monologue: “What’s your sign?” –Guys throughout the ages who thought you were pretty but didn’t have anything to say

-“Stop.”

-“Smoke signals. Do you mind if I set you on fire while we talk?”

-“Cancer. It’s terminal.”

-“The sea anemone, made up of four stars visible from your planet and nine that aren’t. They map the way to my homeworld. Do you have any spare rocket fuel?”

-“Cancer. I have crabs.”

-“Taconic Parkway 7. Then it’s just two miles, and I’ve got a waterbed.”

-“.” This one was in sign language.

-“Cancer. That’s why I’m bald and emaciated. Am I really the most attractive woman in here or do you have a horrid fetish?”

-“The dollar sign. Before you sit down you may want to speak to my pimp. It’s almost 12:00 and rates change at midnight.”