Friday, March 26, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: Colored Scoundrels

Click on the triangle to listen to John Wiswell's "Colored Scoundrels." Click on any of this text to download the MP3.

You've been marooned? What luck. I've been purpled. Scotty's been burgundied, so I recommend we go fetch his booze and get smashed together. It'll give us relief from all the anxiety about being shipless in the middle of the sea. In the morning we'll wake with fresh perspectives and crisp hangovers. Yellow-bellied pirates left you with one shot to do yourself in, right? Same color as Scotty and I. But with the flotsam we can build a little boat, and with three shots we can get the drop on the crew. We’ll start immediately. Immediately following the burgundy. I work better when I’ve blacked out.



Dedicated to Jodi MacArthur, who felt marooned one afternoon.

23 comments:

  1. Absolutely magnificent. the read was stellar and you have the pirate accent perfect.

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  2. hilarious, John!
    I too work better with a bit of burgundy help...

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  3. I am greened with envy/admiration for your great creative skills!

    Also red because of all the laughing.

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  4. Much enjoyed the read and reading -- love your voice, figuratively and literally.

    Short and snappy. Peace...

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  5. I've had that same feeling at times. . . burgundy helps.

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  6. This made me laugh, laugh, laugh!

    Marooned and Purpled definately need to get burgandied so they can black out while building boats on shipless seas.

    Your word play and wit are so sharp! I'm jealous and glad to have you as my friend.

    This gives marooned a whole new meaning. Thanks for the dedication buddy.

    ~J

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  7. hey when live give you lemons .... make wine. Cool, liked the read.

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  8. That's one imaginative pirate! I bet he'll pull off the attack, too.

    Nicely done!

    CD

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  9. Clever play on words. Nice job, John.

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  10. I'm blued that I didn't think of this...

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  11. This was priceless. I laughed out loud at the second sentence and it only got better. I loved it. You could say I was tickled pink.

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  12. Succinct and complete - great combination. Like I've always said: There's no enthusiasm like drunken enthusiasm.

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  13. Excellent John, great fun. Arrr!

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  14. LOVE your new look... and how cool to hear you read your story! funny, people never sound like you think they're going to.. I replayed this twice because I enjoyed it so much...New design, new voiceover, fun story ... John Wiswell is on a rollllllllllllll

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  15. That's a plum of a pun. Very fun.

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  16. My sunburn reddened while reading. I love short pieces.

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  17. I would say, 'colorful tale, John,' but that would be a pale pun in comparison with the bright rainbow you've painted here.

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  18. Quite funny, John! Love the play on words.

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