SEEKING VIRGIN
Seeking virgin post-pubescent girl to bear the spawn of our god.
We are NOT a kidnappy, rapey cult. Only seek a consenting girl.
Pay is negotiable, comparable to other surrogate mother services.
Room and board provided for duration of pregnancy.
Request to smear girl with ash and thyme once a week. NOTHING WITH PEANUTS OR FROM FACTORIES THAT PROCESS PEANUTS.
Broad hips a plus.
Mediterranean ancestry a plus.
WANT TO SAVE THE WORLD?
KNOW A VIRGIN?
CALL XXX-XXXX
put this on craigslist, i bet you get responses.
ReplyDeleteAHAHAHA!!
I think they might have some trouble finding that girl. This would make a hilarious addition to craigslist.
ReplyDeletehaha!! we're not a rapey cult
ReplyDeleteThe allergy warning gives this depth. There has got be other stories behind that. ;)
ReplyDeleteI loved this! Nothing from peanuts is a great touch. :)
ReplyDeleteHA! laughing face
ReplyDeleteI watched "Rosemary's Baby" on Netflix today. Spooky coincidence.
ReplyDeleteHighly amusing nugget, John-o.
ReplyDeleteDoes the mom still get to name the baby?
All hail, Trucker Upton Barack! !
Love Rosemary's Baby. One of my favorite movies. If only they would have given Rosemary the option like your story!
ReplyDelete