Saturday, June 5, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: Gooseless

There is a biological peculiarity that causes some people to shudder without reasonable cause. They don't do it in revulsion, or reaction to abnormal temperature, or because they're sick. A superstition holds that these fol shudder because a goose just walked over wherever they're going to be buried. Most folk have heard this superstition, but some act perplexed by it, never having had such an irrational shudder. These folk are to be pitied, not only for their lack of culture, but because they may be doomed to die at sea or in a horrific plane explosion. Keep them on land at all costs until they produce such a shudder. The goose-walking superstition provides a valuable resource, confirming who will die in such a way that they can be buried. The gooseless are in desperate need of watching.

7 comments:

  1. Quirky. I get the shudder thing once in a while. I like the thought that I will be buried somewhere and not lost at sea...hmmm...2012 is only a couple years away, though...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I get shudders all the time! I figure I must be buried in a pretty business place, so at least I won't ever get lonely. I didn't know it was a goose walking over my grave, though -- the superstition I'd heard was just that a person had.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I must admit, I NEVER thought of that. I get those shudders so often I assume I'll be offed by the mafia and buried in the concrete underlay of some busy metropolitan highway, but I never stopped to think about the people who never get them at all.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ha! You made me shudder reading this. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. That means you're safe, Laura! I saved you!

    Glad some people got a kick out of this. I love playing with superstitions, rolling them around to see what's printed on the back.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Again, you have me thanking the writerly gods that such a quirky mind exists in the blogosphere...

    ReplyDelete
  7. I never would have thought of that! I love when common everyday things, pov, or superstitions are given a new explanation. Cool story. Thanks for the warning.

    ReplyDelete

Counter est. March 2, 2008