Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Bathroom Monologue: Men Only Want One Thing

I’ve heard it my whole life: ‘Men only want one thing from women.’

For the longest time I’ve struggled over my one thing would be. One morning I stumped on a street corner and accosted forty-seven women in an informal poll as to what the one thing men should want is. It came out a tie between “sex” and “leaving me alone.”

Sex can’t be it: I can’t imagine wanting sexual intercourse with even a quarter of the women I’ve met.

And wanting all women to simply go away? That's isolationist. I wouldn’t put stock in either.

For a while I thought it was stock. Not a bad idea, to want every woman you met to fork over shares of a Fortune 500 company.

I followed that premise and settled that the one I want from women is a million dollars. How happy I’d be, how positively feminist I’d become, if all females handed over a million dollars upon proposition. Unreasonable to expect them all to keep that kind of cash on them, but why lower my standards? It’d compromise the one thing I get to want from them.


  1. I howled, haaarrr! I want way more than one thing from women but I'll have to take that up with me missus. fuunnnyyy.

  2. Too funny for early morning! Oh the places your mind goes....

  3. I guess I live in an old-fashioned community. The men I meet always want me to cook them dinner.

  4. I swear the title didn't bring me here ; )
    I was going to say food, too. I'd cook you up a million dollar plate of your favorite.

  5. It came out a tie between “sex” and “leaving me alone.”

    hee hee hee

    Loved this. Men always want four things from me. But that's ok, because I'm good at six things

  6. hmmm funny, if I had to choose what one thing I wanted from men I would also say money...

  7. One thing I want from men...it's a tie between them spontaneously combusting or them being able to feed me. I can't cook. #ammarriedtogoodcook ;)

  8. I hope you find the woman who will give you what you want!

  9. Oh come on now all women know that the one thing men want from wemen is to be looked after ^__^

    Where's me shirt

    What's for dinner



Counter est. March 2, 2008