Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Bathroom Monologue: Men Only Want One Thing


I’ve heard it my whole life: ‘Men only want one thing from women.’

For the longest time I’ve struggled over my one thing would be. One morning I stumped on a street corner and accosted forty-seven women in an informal poll as to what the one thing men should want is. It came out a tie between “sex” and “leaving me alone.”

Sex can’t be it: I can’t imagine wanting sexual intercourse with even a quarter of the women I’ve met.

And wanting all women to simply go away? That's isolationist. I wouldn’t put stock in either.

For a while I thought it was stock. Not a bad idea, to want every woman you met to fork over shares of a Fortune 500 company.

I followed that premise and settled that the one I want from women is a million dollars. How happy I’d be, how positively feminist I’d become, if all females handed over a million dollars upon proposition. Unreasonable to expect them all to keep that kind of cash on them, but why lower my standards? It’d compromise the one thing I get to want from them.

9 comments:

  1. I howled, haaarrr! I want way more than one thing from women but I'll have to take that up with me missus. fuunnnyyy.

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  2. Too funny for early morning! Oh the places your mind goes....

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  3. I guess I live in an old-fashioned community. The men I meet always want me to cook them dinner.

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  4. I swear the title didn't bring me here ; )
    I was going to say food, too. I'd cook you up a million dollar plate of your favorite.

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  5. It came out a tie between “sex” and “leaving me alone.”


    hee hee hee

    Loved this. Men always want four things from me. But that's ok, because I'm good at six things

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  6. hmmm funny, if I had to choose what one thing I wanted from men I would also say money...

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  7. One thing I want from men...it's a tie between them spontaneously combusting or them being able to feed me. I can't cook. #ammarriedtogoodcook ;)

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  8. I hope you find the woman who will give you what you want!

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  9. Oh come on now all women know that the one thing men want from wemen is to be looked after ^__^

    Where's me shirt

    What's for dinner

    LOL

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