Friday, December 7, 2007

Bathroom Monologue: You might be an evil supervillain if...

-You laugh maniacally when things go wrong for others when you had nothing to with the problem, such as the film breaking in a projector, at a car crash, or when flooding devastates a poor southern neighborhood that was built at sea level right next to the sea.
-You've been told at least five times in the last year that you have a "great maniacal laugh."
-You have to play evil theme music just to walk from your computer to the bathroom. And you will hold it until you find the right song.
-You find yourself inexplicably excited and/or aroused whenever Wonder Woman is losing a fight.
-When you hear "internet piracy," you think of galleons and cannons laying siege to Microsoft headquarters.
-When you hear "illegal aliens," you think of space ships, and your only worry is that they won't align with you.
-When you hear "World Series," you think of setting every sovereign nation in the world on fire in beautiful succession.
-You've lost more than one hundred nights of sleep in your life planning intricate plots that you know you'll never carry out and/or know can't possibly work.
-You cut yourself, but you imagine it's other people doing it, and the act gives you a rush, particularly because you spent the entire ordeal plotting revenge against your fictitious tormentor.
-You think hundreds or thousands or hundreds of thousands of people read your blog, website, web comic, livejournal or mywasteofspace than actually join or post comments. You simply have no idea why they don't show up on the hit counter or post those comments in support of your brilliant work. Your best guess is that they're intimidated.
-You know all the countries that don't have a Bill of Rights, and can list them off the top of your head, alphabetically or by population. And you have some great ideas you'd like to share with their heads of state.

1 comment:

  1. There are lots of people like this on the internet. It explains trolls everywhere. They think they're supervillians. I wonder if they've figured out their theme songs yet.


Counter est. March 2, 2008