Thursday, December 27, 2007

Bathroom Monologue: Rejected Bumper Stickers

-I have the right to bear arms (it’s in the Constitution)
-The Elderly are our Greatest Resource... of Mulch
-Respect the truth enough to leave it alone
-I have the right to arm bears (it's in the Constitution)
-Hitchhikers are like Drivethru for Cannibals
-Women are like paintings: pretty to look at, useless to listen to
-I have the right to throw this van into reverse (it's in the Constitution)
-Remake Directors, Not Movies
-I have the right to follow you home (it's in the Constitution)
-Love Conquers All, The Occupation is Harder
-DUEL Wasn't a Movie, it was a Warning
-My bear has the right to follow you home (it's in the Constitution)
-I only brake for imaginary Stop signs
-Legalize Pot to Solve the Budget Deficit
-It's not racist if you do it right, or if you're black
-My Other Car is Your Mom
-Has anyone seen my bear? (she stole my copy of the Constitution)


  1. I love the bears! This made me laugh so much that Shelly told me I should probably comment.

    By the way, I read like fifteen of the monologues to my sister and mother on Christmas while we were putting together a puzzle. My sister really liked them.

  2. Glad to entertain you and your family. Is this the sister who shares my birthday? (September 4)


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