Bathroom Monologue: Beware Canadians and Ellipses

"There appears to be a Canadian spy satellite in orbit around... yes sir, a Canada... no sir... it appears to be... I don't know if it gets hockey stations, sir... no, no... It's armed, sir. Nuclear arms positioned above... no sir, I don't think the arms have fingers... listen... no, please... please stop laughing sir... Listen, serial killers are using it to teleport across the continent... no sir, it doesn't dispense beer... sir, that's offensive... no, of course not... I'm sorry. Yes, I'll ask... yes, about the beer, too. But if I could just... they’re going to kill us all, though... alright, goodnight sir."