Bathroom Monologue: We swear a lot

Listen, that photo in the magazine? It isn't how it looks. I wasn't actually at the protest for nudist rights. They were protesting at all the government buildings, and I was just trying to get into the DMV. There's a typo on my license, and I needed a form. Look at me in that picture, honey. I'm not protesting. I know how it looks, but I wasn't staring at that woman, either. She has a very nice chest, but I'm actually looking for the entrance to the DMV. It's just the angle. It's all an accident. I swear.