Friday, September 21, 2012

Bathroom Monologue: Executed



Marianne Smythe murdered two people and assisted in the murders of at least five others. When she was arrested, she had the hatchet, the circular saw and the rope in her trunk, and the DNA of one victim under her fingernails. She refused to assist the police in pursuing her fellow cultists. She never feigned innocence or regret, and at her sentencing hearing, seemed almost giddy for the coming needle.

I’ve told you about Marianne Smythe so I can tell you about the two people who went to her execution. No relative of any victim attended, as the business was something of a mess, and a massive hailstorm pelted the state that night. Solomon James had no interest in the case, other than being the temporary guardian of Jedidiah Smythe. Jedidiah was the second person in attendance, his interest being that his mother was being executed. He was seven years and two months old at the time. He was not known to act out, or to speak with any frequency.

Many people in the institution, the state, and even the free press feared the boy would get the wrong impression from the viewing, but he could not be barred and willingly arrived twelve hours early to beat the hail. Upon his arrival, the warden gave him a grim tour of the facility, assuring him of how humane it was.

As they waited, Mr. James explained how law enforcement didn’t always catch wrongdoers, but pursued all those they could, and always did take care of the innocent.

The District Attorney arrived at noon and gave him a highly redundant lecture on the legal system, its checks and balances, and how many wise people had set up many ways to defend innocent people from punishment.

The warden avoided Jedidiah after that, and the D.A. left early for a fundraiser. Mr. James was obligated to stay with the boy. Marianne Smythe declined to see him, which made sense, as she had declined to see Jedidiah for seven years. For none of this did he act out, and he spoke only to answer “Yes” to the occasional rhetorical question.

I’ve told you about Jedidiah Smythe’s day to tell you about his evening. He sat in one chair for three hours straight, watching the second-hand on a clock. At a specific juncture he was moved to the viewing room, where he sat in another chair watching through a plate of glass. Someone snuck him a cup of coffee. It went cold and stale on his armrest, the top unpopped. It remained on his armrest as he departed the room after the injections finished their course. He did not act out, and did not speak.

It was only as the institution let out a collective sigh that Jedidiah Smythe initiated anything. He paused by an officer’s leg, touching his trouser for a moment.

When the officer bent to ask if he needed help, Jedidiah Smythe reported, “I know this place only executes the guilty, and that the law finds the guilty, prosecutes them until they’re dead. My guardian and I are both witnesses to a gang of doctors killing my mother. They’re all still here, so it won’t be hard to catch them. How long will it be before we can kill them?”

The officer exchanged astonished glances with Mr. James. As they hesitated, Jedidiah’s eyes went from him to the second-hand of the nearest clock.

35 comments:

  1. I saw a program about judicial executions in the US some years back. I was fascinated to note that the cause of death is listed as homicide.

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    1. Was it listed by the program, or by some governmental body?

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    2. Apparently the death certificate gave homicide as the cause of death. Sorry - I should have made that clear.

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  2. if Jedediah got his wish & the surgeons were executed, then those executioners in turn would have to be culled as well?

    I kind of wanted to know more about the cult, (not the white coated one or the prison uniformed one) but I guess that wasn't germane to this story

    marc nash

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    1. The cult may show up in other work, Marc. I'm not sure about that yet, but there may be a distinct story for them.

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  3. Oh dear I can see a never ending circle about to happen! I loved the tone of the narrator's voice - it gave the feel of being detached, just the observer - a watcher if you like and it allowed us to watch along with him.

    I noticed this sentence did you mean to have both those always in it? " always didn’t always catch wrongdoers," Somehow that feels really awkward to me and would read better as 'didn't always catch wrongdoers: but do ignore me if you don't agree ^__^

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    1. That was positively an error, Helen, the result of giving it a last-pass edit far too late into my day. Thank you for pointing it out - I've corrected it now.

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  4. Loved the narrators voice in this one, John. This was neat and tidy, even if the subject wasn't. Well done.

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    1. So long as it exists it might be best if the subject is quite untidy. Thank you for the kind words - may I ask what you read as the narrator's voice?

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  5. Very powerful and the boy's character so intense. I wonder what kind of work he will get into when he grows up.

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    1. The possibilities are broad, and tempting for fiction...

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  6. I went along, reading this, imagining it being read aloud and enjoying the voice of the piece. So, that being the case, I didn't have time to see the ending coming. Very well done, catching Jedidiah's complete innocence in asking for the deaths of the gang of doctors. Great piece.

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    1. So glad you got so much out of it, Aaron. That is everything I could have asked to do for a reader - thank you for relaying it back to me.

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  7. I read this with a sense of impending doom and I like the way that built throughout the piece. I liked the guilty way the adults tried to avoid the child.

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    1. It's interesting to me to write around inevitable circumstances from time to time. It feels a little odd I hadn't approached an execution before, actually. Thanks, Pete!

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  8. I fear young Jedidiah is about to receive another lecture.

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  9. Excellent as always. The child speaks the truth!

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  10. That was fracking brilliant, and asked a question I've never quite been able to frame so succinctly. Well done, John.

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  11. Oh this was such an interesting take on an execution. And a chilling ending.

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  12. The simplicity of the narrative makes the impact that much stronger.

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  13. A child's simple justice. Brilliant.

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  14. OOh, clever. Loved the informal narrative with one hell of a clincher. Nice work, John.

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  15. What clever boys! John and Jedidiah, both!

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  16. Seven is far too young to be drinking coffeee anyway. Jedidiah is a wise boy, I think. Nice job. Will we get to read Marianne's story, I wonder?

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  17. Well told John, I was looking for the twist ending in which the boy was the leader of the cult and had done the murders(Just shows my mindset I guess.)

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  18. Powerful, John.

    The moment I read that Marianne was Jedidiah's mother and how young he was, my heart stopped. His continued silence and then final speech left me speechless.

    Jai

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  19. The logic of a young child is a difficult thing to refute - this was a departure from what I've come to expect from you John however I continue to be impressed - there is so much drama and tension and the sadness of it all is handled with care.

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  20. Great style in this short John.. Shawshank meets James M Cain meets John Wiswell.. I still can't help thinking that the boy is a little psychotic rather than a champion of anti-capital punishment .. A thoughtful piece ..Fabulous work.

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  21. Certainly a very dark piece. I'm not sure I agree with the boy's logic but you suffused the whole story with an air of humanity.

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    1. You don't think you agree with a seven-year-old's logic? Would you care to elaborate?

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  22. A seven-year-old boy's question loops in my mind again and again, each time I find it chilling, each time I find myself waiting to hear the answer..but does one come? Or does the child end up ignored with a guilty shake of the head?

    Loved this piece John, even if the subject was one to frown about.

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  23. Hi there John -- I like the rolling reveal, the tone, and the deftly sketched characters. Jedidiah was also a well chosen name for a cult child. I found myself holding on for the child's final comment, throughout, and some suitably dark logic was the result. One tiny thing: 'My ward and I...' I wasn't sure to what that referred. His 'ward' would imply he was looking after someone -- though I may have gotten confused somewhere. Good story and for some reason, I don't rate the doctors' chances. St.

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    1. Quite right, Stephen! Of course Mr. James isn't the ward of a child. Thank you for catching that - I will correct it immediately.

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