Bathroom Monologue: Paramount

"Our opponents were the best. The twelve finest samurai and warlords in the land. They came from the most reputable schools. They had the finest weapons. The sight of just so much as one of their flags made civilized people flee in terror. So what did we do? We went to the uncivilized ends of civilization. We found best of the rejects, the scum, the monsters, the people who went into the wilderness and survived. We gave each of our twelve untrained savages a shower, a suit and a sword. Then we stacked them up against the emperor's elite. Not only did we win, but we made a couple of those samurai cry."