Sunday, January 6, 2008

Bathroom Monologue: Peace of Mind

The ultimate swordsman was, of course, a woman. Violet Diamon was her name, and her sword was forged at the heart of the world. She taught the likes of Burning River and Egal Vineguard, but even her most heroic pupils fear their teacher. Violet claimed she could do anything with a sword, from cooking and painting, to balancing her checkbook and negotiating contracts. According to Burning River, she was particularly good at balancing her checkbook whenever she had the banker at swordpoint. There was no warrior of any gender or nationality who could bring her down; a draw in fencing against Violet was considered a great success. In fact, she was so wise in the ways of the blade that she could cut down a man without even unsheathing her sword. If there was one thing she could have changed about her life, she told her last pupils on her final night, it was, "that the whole sheathed striking technique was a metaphor for pacifism. Men."

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