Bathroom Monologue: "Shakespeare is Old School!" –A professor who thought she was hipper than she actually was

William Shakespeare: Old school

Homer: Pre-school

Norman Mailer: Private school

James Patterson: Public school

Emily Dickinson: Home school

Saint Augustine: Sunday school

JFK's Profiles in Courage: New School

Isaac Asimov's Fantastic Voyage: Medical school

Periodic Tables: Elementary school

George Orwell: Educational software

Aesop: Lecture series

J.K. Rowling: Recess

Smoking in the Boy's Bathroom: Hunter S. Thompson

Ernest Hemingway: Tour of duty to pay for college

Dante Alighieri: Semester abroad

Ken Kesey: Dropping out

Upton Sinclair: On the job training

Charles Darwin: Field work term

John Jay, James Madison and Alexander Hamilton: Senior thesis

Harriet Beecher Stowe: Masters degree

Nostradamus: Ranting guy on the street corner