Thursday, January 10, 2008

Bathroom Monologue: Step 309, and how it went awry

Now that we knew the demographics for our criminal organization, we set out to exploit them. Since at least 72% of potential employees were grossly overweight men who worked either in tech support or videogame stores, we made t-shirts with our terrifying yet simple logo part of the standard attire for all employees instead of the more standard jumpsuits. They're a lot cheaper to mass produce. It was Jacob Wrathstein's idea to charge each employee for his clothing, and his wife's brilliant idea to provide only Medium and XXL sizes, with the Medium running $15 and the XXL running at $75. We dreamed of profits, but unfortunately all we got were snarky, overweight minions of evil in really tight t-shirts.

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