Sunday, June 7, 2009

Bathroom Monologue: Thanks for the new mirror in here

"I steal the breath away from sirens and make Medusa stare. When I step out to get the mail all TV goes offline ‘cause the satellites snap over to me. These jeans, I only wear on Sunday mornings - because if the ladies aren't in their purest frames of minds their eyes will set ablaze. I tell you that I part seas with a smile and command more wine than France not for vanity, but as a warning. My hotness is a firm orbit, and if you stray too close you will never escape. I’m like the sun, but the planets are more coy in how they revolve around me."


  1. I ADORE this one. I'm not sure why. I think it's the purity of (and good reason for) the breathtaking vanity of the unnamed narrator. Must be descended from incubii.

  2. Glad this voice entertained somebody. I was worried people would think it was me talking about myself (a problem with a lot of first person monologues). Cheers, Jemma!


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