Thursday, November 29, 2007

Bathroom Monologue: Nightmarish Chapters for my Dream Novel

Sitting in Blue: Three strange friends discuss what they've done lately while sitting in blue moonlight on a tile roof, while below Medieval knights besiege a group of Shaolin monk bandits.

Roc'n and Rowin': A rowboat is attacked by the mythical European Roc bird.

What Electric Sheep Dream Of: One of the antagonists has his brain downloaded to a Dell PC and explores his sexuality now that he has no crotch and three USB ports.

Chapter 86: After one of the protagonists imbibes some questionable moonshine, this chapter of the novel occurs in flawless terza rima.

The Longest Entertaining Chase Scene in American Literature: Fairly self-explanatory. Lots of chicken coops destroyed in this one.

It Doesn't Have to be True (it just has to be good): A town surrounded by cranky dragons (it's mating season) decides to pass the arduous time by trading tall tails; the longest one wins the only pair of earplugs.

Guaranteed not to be in the Movie Adaptation: The cast sits down to discuss their feelings on race riots without the use of a mediator, verbal cliches, stereotypes, violence or political frames of reference.

Murder Culture: In the middle of a public duel, in the splitsecond of a samurai's sword slash, we see what is happening for that splitsecond for twenty-five citizens of this wild-western-themed town. Twenty-five shared instants in the human experience.

Know Enough to Know that You Don't Know: The novel comes to a disappointingly metafictional close when the characters who survived the climax believe themselves to be taking the customary "hot springs episode," only to find that they are lounging in the sweaty navel of Surtur, the Icelandic fire giant.

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