Bathroom Monologue: Bloody Unlikely

Everyone talks about that million-to-one odds business. Like they studied probability beyond what was necessary to pass Math in high school. It’s never a million-to-one. Listen, you could have a million monkeys flipping coins, and not one would land on its side before brunch. And the lottery? You wish it was only a million-to-one odds. Even surviving this plane crash has got to be somewhere around 240,300,605-to-one. See here, I did the math on these napkins. The stewardesses don’t seem to want them anymore. Getting a million-to-one odds, well, the chances are about a million-to-one. Hey, could I have that life preserver under your seat? Mine’s punctured, if you believe it. I know, I know, what are the odds?