Bathroom Monologue: Could Have Been Worse

"I mean, I could have walked in on her going down on -- no wait, that happened. Well, it could have been my brother she was -- no wait. Well, in my disgust I could have whirled around and accidentally fallen down the stai-- right, that's why I have this cast. Jesus. And my freaking car was towed after only being there for three minutes! But, but, I mean, it totally could have been worse. I mean, when I was haling a cab to get to the hospital, I could have been hit by a -- I was? Dragged for four blocks? Wow.... Still, it could have been worse. It's not the end of the world-- what's that noise outside?"