Bathroom Monologue: Delectable Dolphins

The Humans claimed dolphins were mammals like them, because they breathed air and gave birth to live young. The Dwarfs claimed dolphins were fish, because they spent all their time in the water, didn't talk, and were shaped like fucking fish. While the debate raged, the Goblins ate the dolphins. When chastised for their behavior, the Goblins voted that dolphins were fish, because they tasted like tuna.