Bathroom Monologue: Someone's happy about graduation

The valedictorian of days, the Last Judgment, stood and marched down the aisle to the Provost of Time, glancing smugly at her fellow students. She passed The Beginning, who smiled cordially; she passed The Day the World Stood Still, who was still applauding, long after everyone else had given up on account of raw palms; she passed the two rows of True Holidays, who all pretended like they had something on their shoe when she looked for eye contact; she tried her best to smile at The Day of the Fall from Grace, whom she had had three non-consecutive one-night-stands with. She had never thought much of him. It was just then that the class prankster (and bitter salutatorian) The Day of the Fourth Coming, stepped on the tail of the Last Judgment's gown. She tripped clean off the stage, and fell into the laps of several trustees. A burst of laughter from the crowd made her realize just how everyone truly felt towards her. The embarrassment was so great that the administration soon closed down Time, in favor of a second university for Space, which had never disappointed anyone.