Bathroom Monologue: A Moment with Consumer, the Dragon

Once upon a time stories began with, "Once upon a time." When they did, I was conscripted by some would-be demigods. They paid me in leatherbound books and chests of shining silver, to lie on and read by. I've shrunk in my old age, but back then I was as big as a healthy nation. My veins were rivers and lakes of fire. My stomach? A capitol city or two. Those would-be demigods hired me on as part of their new underworld. Anyone horrible enough to participate in ethnic cleansing, I devoured, and they were to spend something like six-hundred and sixty-six years in my bowels. These deities thought it very appropriate for ethnic cleansers to be digested and purified in the infernal guts of a dragon. Oh, how those dictators, generals and warrior kings jived and shivered on the way down. I miss that job.