Friday, November 16, 2007

Bathroom Monologue: "Don't you want to have kids?" -Generic Ex-Girlfriend

-No, now please stop asking.
-By the throat.
-With soy sauce.
-Do they double well as calk?
-Right where I want them.
-How much does the government give you, again?
-Can’t I just have their candy instead?
-Well, I’ll give you this: nothing makes such a satisfying “thump” as a toddler taking her first steps off a fifth story window.
-If you get some, we can race them in strollers down the stairs. Best three out of five?

In conclusion: no. None of them are cute, none of them are clever, and yours in particular smells like you aren’t washing it thoroughly enough. I recommend a fire hose.

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